Does Solar Work?

Seems like the most popular marketing tactic for… well… just about anything nowadays is the bait and switch.  A plane ticket to Maui is $450.  Unless you want a seat that isn’t next to the bathroom, two napkins, and legroom more than Frodo Baggins.  No, those seats are $700.  Yes, I clicked on the teaser ad that read “$450.”

Do We Get It…Or Not?

So Mr. Parker and his two ladies (wife and toddler) vacillated on a solar system for a new house. 

One day: “Ooooh… those are expensive! 
Next Day: “Wouldn’t it be nice to have low electric bills?” 
Next Day:  “Those things are ugly.” 

You get the idea.

When you build a house you develop a particular sort of blindness that keeps you from seeing zeroes.  You’re spending (loaned) hundreds of thousands of dollars, so thousands start to appear like hundreds and then no bigger than the crumpled bills in my wallet now.  Solar?  Eh, why not, we’re building a house.  Sign papers.  Money down.  Buyer’s remorse.  They can’t possibly work, can they?

Did they?

We hate cleaning crap so we built a small house.  A small house, but a tall house.  Three bedrooms, two baths, utility room, great room, big garage for lots of surf toys.  And ceilings for the NBA – 9 to 14′ depending on the room.  About 1,300 square feet not including a 600 foot garage if the County Assessor asks me.  About 1,400 if I ever have to market it for sale.

It’s tight.  Not tight like 1990’s lexicon, tight as in a mason jar with pears that Uncle Henry with big hands screwed on.  Turns out if you add a little insulation and caulk the back sides of your ceiling lights the City of Seattle gives you points for a “Built Green” rating.  Turns out the City pushes permits through the system faster when you’re Built Green.

They’re Ugly, But…

Let’s all agree solar systems are pretty like paying federal taxes is erotic.  I hate the cellophane wrapper on graham crackers and I hate the way solar panels look.  Hate.  We put them on the west side of our house to oblige my reasonable aesthetic taste, even though the south side would have been best.  Hey, at least when you drive up to my house it doesn’t look like NASA dropped satellite shrapnel on my roof.

We paid $16,000 for them.  Yes, you read that number correctly.  For tax purposes, we are self employed.  So the system price was $23,000 but we got that juicy tax credit (30% of total cost) and just routed some of our tax money to the panels.  The federal government gives you thousands of dollars to get solar, about $5,000 to $10,000 depending. 

That’s like paying for a few pieces of pizza at lunch and getting a pie for your whole family.  Times thousands.  Every person, every income level.  Government is usually insanely bad.  This is insanely good.

All the furnace guys want you to put those big natural gas furnaces in the garage right next to where you back in your SUV.  Maybe it’s just me but I don’t like things that explode and catch on fire unless popcorn and Jackie Chan are involved.  Forget the gas furnace, we put in two of those heat pump units outside and ductwork inside.  So the house heats just like those with the gas furnace.  Er, ah, but heat pumps give you AC too.  A little more costly, a lot more comfortable.

We have a loud car that drips oil in our garage.  We also have a quiet one.  That is to say the second is all electric.  So the sun hits the panels and science nerd stuff happens and our lights go on, the heat works, the AC works and our quiet car gets charged.  What did all of this cost all year?  ALL YEAR. 

-$750

The City of Seattle Paid Us $972

Breaking News, Breaking News! A government entity paid a middle-class person for something.  Yes, when I got the mail I intentionally slammed my fingers in the refrigerator door to make sure I was awake.  I was awake.  Slamming your fingers in anything for any reason is dumb.  Here’s the basic math: we paid $222 in electricity service fees (not electricity, fees) ALL YEAR.  Then we essentially got a check FROM THE CITY (still having a hard time believing… but my fingers are still throbbing…) for $972.  We got paid.  We got paid!

By my real estate agent-level math, our system will pay off in three years.  I think that’s right but I equate everything to 3% so who can really say.  Seriously, whether it’s two years or four years or anything in between, this is white collar robbery.  I love it.

This article is not fiction.  You are awake.  These numbers are real.  

Do It Now

My guess is it’s only a matter of time before someone puts an end to all of this silliness.  I would get onboard now, because I think the programs and rates are grandfathered to you at today’s package.